Today I was in the mood to look at some old pictures. I often look back to the past of my life and think those were the best years of my life. And looking at the pics, I still think that. But it definitely wasn't always the best hair days of all time. And it's interesting for to me look back on the photos of myself and my life, and see just how many changes I went through. It's obvious I was always searching for the right look, the right place where I might fit in. I changed myself so much it's hard for me to even remember when I looked a certain way because I must have changed 5 times in just one school year. But I thought it'd be fun to share some of these looks. Some of these pics I think I look good in, and others I just shake my head and don't know what sort of look I was after. But I'm sharing them all anyway. This is a glimpse of my youth from 7th grade until I graduated high school.
This is a picture of me the summer before 7th grade. I believe this was actually taken at my 12th bday party:
I think I was trying to be sexy. I'm not sure. But this was when the cool look was having your hair all short on one side and longer on the other. As ridiculous as this was, I guess I pulled it off. I'm sure this was an awesome look back in 1986....
That look evolved somehow into this look:
I'm a little scary here. I have no idea why I appear to be ready to beat someone up, but it could be because of the coveted Love and Rockets t-shirt I was wearing there....
If you'll notice in this picture below, my friend is wearing the same t-shirt:
We got into a huge fight one day because we both showed up at school wearing the same shirt. This was unacceptable. And I thought because I bought it first, I had exclusive rights to the shirt. But she didn't think so. Hence the huge fight and both of us demanding the other person take it off. Neither of us looks happy in the picture above, and I blame that stinkin' t-shirt of friendship discourse....damn you Love and Rockets!
This next picture, I have no idea what was going on with my hair or my shades or the funky headband. But clearly I was pushing to give peace a chance and for us to please just stop fighting over the stupid t-shirt!
By the time 8th grade rolled around, I had changed my look again. For the better I think. Gone was the funky reddish mop on top of my head. I had bleached my hair blonde and pledged my love for Poison instead of Love and Rockets.
This was taken on 8th grade field day, June 1988. The hat was not mine though, but I snagged it from this guy Kelly who I had called Indiana Jones since the 5th grade because he always had an Indiana Jones hat on. I had a huge crush on him for years and he was the first boy who ever called me on the phone. Sure, he called me to ask me if my friend liked him...but it still counted! And at least I stole his hat and got a picture, so I win....
This is a picture of me and my two best friends the night of our 8th grade graduation:
I was really upset that night because I got a sty in my eye 2 days before this and if you looked at me up close, I looked like someone punched me in the face because my eye was all swollen. But thankfully from farther away I still looked okay. Don't we all look so much older than 13?
This was my 14th bday party...I'm still rockin' the Poison t-shirt. I think that was my favorite shirt ever for awhile....
And speaking of my love for Poison, I was convinced that Bret Michaels would be my man. If only he could meet me, I'd rock his world. I'd be his rock of love, way before his stupid TV show was born. Of course I was 14 and he was god knows how old. But I was determined to catch his eye by sending him this picture of me:
Yeppers, that is me at 14!! Holy crap I was hot and I looked 20. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have been posing next to the sexy picture of the guy from White Lion but if you look above that picture, you'll see a sexy half naked man body on a lounge chair...THAT was Bret! And of course you can see my Poison album on my record rack on the floor...yes, it was an LP because cassettes were new and there was no such thing as a CD much less mp3's. This was 1988....lol
And I figured if that pic didn't catch Bret's attention, maybe he'd enjoy seeing me sprawled out on the floor of my room, draped on my bed, wearing my Cathy comic strip nightshirt and my copy of Sassy magazine and my stuffed animals next to me? What rock star could resist this picture?
By the time my freshmen year got underway, I changed my look again...My room no longer had pictures of long haired rock stars, but posters of The Cure and Depeche Mode. I was going for the new wave/punk rock thing now.
And again, I changed my look here:
I could never decide if I wanted to be a blonde or a redhead and I switched back and forth between those hair colors a million times. But I liked this look for me at the time. It was all very Molly Ringwald, Pretty in Pink.
Especially in these pictures below:
Again, I was trying to be sexy but this time I'm not sure who I was attempting to seduce. But don't you love how my sweater matches my curtains and my sheets?
I was really skinny here. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm standing sideways and I look like a board. My head sort of looked a bit big for my body too. But I was very happy with this look. I felt pretty cool here...
In this picture, it seems I always did a good job matching my hair or my clothes to the color of my surroundings. Like a chameleon!
My hair is the exact same color as the fake wood paneling and our old ugly brown couch. How did I ever wear a shirt buttoned up all the way like that without suffocating? It makes me feel short of breath just looking at it....
All those years of me dying my hair blonde, then going red, then going back to blonde, finally took a toll on the old locks. This is my sweet 16 and clearly my hair was a fried mushroom cloud on top of my head.
But I manged to live it up, even with horrible fried hair. This is a picture of me being forced to get up in front of an entire diner and dance with the waiters....
Clearly I should have been in show business!
I finally gave up on saving my fried hair and I whacked it all off. I seriously thought this was a cute hairstyle when I got it. But now that I see it again, I'm not sure how I ever went in public like this. But I was excited about it because everyone told me I looked like the lead singer of Wilson Phillips and I thought that was a great compliment! But now, not so much loving this weird pixie do on me...I was almost 17 here...
This next picture was taken in my yard during my 'artsy' phase. Me and my friends were planning to make a video for the Cure song, 'The Forest' and we had it all planned out where we'd run through the trees and climb them and be all dramatic and deep looking. This was a picture from that pipe dream of an idea we had...
And I conclude this blog with a picture of me at my high school grad night celebration. With yet another look, and back to the blonde hair once again. This was probably the look that suited me the most. The earthy, hippie look. And I loved the undersea adventure room I was sitting in. It was all very serene and funky. This is one of my favorite pictures I think:
So many looks, so many different expressions of myself, so many different styles, yet all of these people are me. I think I spent a long time trying to find a place to fit in and even when I moved on from one look to the next, I kept little bits of all of it inside me. I'm still a dorky nerd, rocker chick, new wave, sexy seductress, punk rock, hippie tree girl. And I guess it doesn't matter what I really look like, because that's who I am anyway.
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